Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-T. S. Eliot
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Being one who finds strength in the binary, I take great joy in beginnings and ends. The year is complete; there have been joys and sorrows, successes and failures, learning and growing. As I look back on 2014, I have no regrets. I feel I pushed myself to live with love and honor; now that i can be more objective, I can see what parts of my life were not the strongest or most healthy and now begin to forge ahead with new and old ideas, plans, and action steps to be and live better, stronger, and healthier. I am all for New Years Resolutions and took some inspiration from this man:
– “Take care of your spiritual life, your relationship with God, because this is the backbone of everything we do and everything we are.”
– “Take care of your family life, giving your children and loved ones not just money, but most of all your time, attention and love.”
– “Take care of your relationships with others, transforming your faith into life and your words into good works, especially on behalf of the needy.”
– “Be careful how you speak, purify your tongue of offensive words, vulgarity and worldly decadence.”
– “Heal wounds of the heart with the oil of forgiveness, forgiving those who have hurt us and medicating the wounds we have caused others.”
– “Look after your work, doing it with enthusiasm, humility, competence, passion and with a spirit that knows how to thank the Lord.”
– “Be careful of envy, lust, hatred and negative feelings that devour our interior peace and transform us into destroyed and destructive people.”
– “Watch out for anger that can lead to vengeance; for laziness that leads to existential euthanasia; for pointing the finger at others, which leads to pride; and for complaining continually, which leads to desperation.”
– “Take care of brothers and sisters who are weaker … the elderly, the sick, the hungry, the homeless and strangers, because we will be judged on this.”
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Here is the path to the destinations of creating my own resolutions
I took myself out of the immediacy of my current New Orleans life. Stepped out and ventured back home to California. I wanted to compare the who I am now to the who I was. The idea was to see those places and people who first helped inspire the tenants that I would chose to forge my male adult identity.
I reviewed parts of my life with family and listened to their responses, did the same for my brother, and shared my proud love to my sister, who is now a mother, and introduced and welcomed my niece, Giulianna, to our family.
I revisited my college town, the first real steps of building and creating the masculine warrior and poet I now identify as. I was able to reconnect with good friends, mentors, and God. And again share my year, and listen to their ideas and responses.
And now, I have returned to my current home and started to have those conversation of the experiences of the year past, with those here, and forging into the new year. With a more clear mind, I will put myself back in the mix with my New Orleans city and New Orleans friends--share my realizations, listen to their responses, and move forward.
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Happy New Year! Here are the Topics of Growth of my Resolutions:
-it appears to be a lot, I know, all important and necessary.
-reasonable steps at a time.
-lots of planning, successes, failures, and re-planning.
Scheduling
Writing Projects
Reading Growth
Work/Life Balance
Spiritual Fitness
Physical Fitness/Diet
Solitude/Community Balance
Financial Stability
Romance/Dating/Sex
World News/Political Awareness
Art/Culture Awareness
Friendships
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Steps Complete Thus Far
1. Turning the larger concepts into specific actions, tasks, and goals.
2. Draft #1 of my weekly schedule
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Final Thoughts
I will be coming to a very important milestone in my life, at least according to my design. I will be 35 in February. The promise I made to myself was the change in focus from pleasure, in the moment, and rash decisions to a true ownership of male adulthood: health, education, financial stability--simply a true focus and commitment to my life in the long term. One truly difficult part of that is my Black and White vs Gray internal and external struggle. My idea is not to sacrifice all of my binary aspects as the thoughts and beliefs they are, it is more of maintaining an openness and love for those who are not me and shifting my balance of expectations between myself and those I truly care about.
-that is not very specific yet, but it will be over time. Also i have me working since 7am, and my brain and hands are tired.
Peace,
-Cid
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